The emotions I have stored in me aren’t allow to be expressed from my mouth because I will come off as having an attitude
They want me to shut up and play the part and show gratitude.
Gratitude…because I’m in their presence, or I should be thankful that they’re giving me the opportunity to listen to their problems,
like they want me to solve em’
Why aren’t I allowed to express myself and cry?
Is this life as it’s meant to be until the day I die?
Why do I always have to be strong and have no one to lean on?
They seek me when they’re in trouble and it’s something about me that makes them want to cling on.
Cling on to my melanin full of dominance,
my heart full of gold,
and my soul full of diamonds.
But little do they know, I’m fighting to keep my melanin resilient,
I don’t want to sale my heart of gold,
there’s too much pressure on my soul,
and my mind is getting harder to heal, and this is something a thief wouldn’t want to steal.
So here I am,
Hear me out,
that the mad black woman inside me wants to shout.
But is it okay for me to cry?
Is it okay for me to be vulnerable and weak?
Or do you prefer me to be quiet in meek?
Please advise me what to do, since the whole world revolves around you.
Understanding me as a human is one thing,
but getting to know me as a black woman is another.
Who will be by side to understand my colors?
Colors of love, hurt, pain, and shame…
But still I remain,
trying to stay in my lane.
But I am forced to steer left because all this built up aggression that’s in my chest.
I can no longer be a slave to your demands,
because my tears are falling into my hands.
But no one will ever see,
what all this pain has done to me.
So I ask you, if I cry…will you stand by my side…
Because this strong woman no longer has anything left to hide.