I’m in a place where life has been good to me. And when I say good, I mean that I have been at peace. You see, the devil would lie to me and have myself thinking that my life is dull and that there is nothing going on, but then I hear my heavenly father tell me that this is exactly what I had prayed for. Then I smile and laugh because it is exactly what I prayed for. Five years ago, I was fasting, praying, and reading my Bible everyday single day and begging the Lord for healing. I remember looking for brighter days and not having hope and that one day I would see just a speck of light through the tunnel. For years I started thinking that I did not have a purpose. I remember trying to end my life at the age of nineteen because I was being verbally abused and did not see a future for myself. This was not the only time I wanted my life to end though. It happened again when I was 20 and pregnant. I felt like a prisoner in my own body because I was so use to being young, wild, and free.
I knew once my daughter was born I had to put all the silliness and depression away and start living a life of grace. Although she was just an infant, I wanted her know that her mother was strong and could handle anything that came across her mother. I wanted my daughter to see my as being brave, dominate, and confident.
I began praying everyday because my life for my daughter and I wasn’t where I wanted it to be. I remember doing my first fast and I did not eat solid food for a couple days and every time I would get weary I would begin praying for peace within and I start reading my Bible and the weariness would go away. Shortly after my first fast, the Lord was very present in my life and I was able to have belief that that word works.
Now I’m in a stage in my life where the devil no longer has control and I am able to defeat depression, laugh at suicidal thoughts, and overcome the atrocities that enter my mind.
Everyone has ways of dealing with their inner demons. I looked within and never looked back. Its up to you to get out of that turmoil and search for the healing and grace that you have the right to.
Ask yourself today…what are you going to do to start seeing progress in your life, because guess what…your life does matter.