There are some things I wish someone or even my mother would have told me before I got married. So therefore since I now realize, I thing it’s important that my daughter and others should know before they decide whether it’s the right thing to do or not. I wish someone would have told me to make sure that they make you happy more then they make you mad. I wish someone told me that they should want and be eager to support you with all your dreams and push you when you think you can not go any further. But I’ll just start off with those two because they seem so important to me right now.
Don’t ever end up in a marriage where you feel as though you made a huge mistake. You wake up one morning and Boom! It hits you…you just married the wrong person. If they don’t go out of there way to make sure you are satisfied right when you wake up and before you go to sleep, they are not the one. I say this because people can become so cynical and not realize that by their silence they are hurting the other individual. Of course you have to do you part, but you have to make sure that they are doing theirs too. And when I mean happy, I mean that everyone can see it and they are envious of it. Don’t ever settle for less and think that is the best you are going to get because it is not true. Don’t fall for it. Negativity has a way of seeping through our hearts, minds, and spirits. Please make sure they make you happy. I know all relationships are not perfect but once again you have to realize that if they make you happier than they make you mad, then you might be on the right track.
Also, lets talk about support. Being supportive is the deal breaker. You have to be 100% sure that they are there for you while you reach for the stars. Mind you, you have to be doing the same thing for them, but lets talk about you. For instance, I’m in school trying to get my bachelors and my husband is not the best at cheering me on. It gets kind of frustrating because you’re looking for that extra push from your spouse to keep telling you to go. But we can not put all the blame on them right? Just some.
What I’m learning while being married that since he cannot make me happy like I want him too, I can choose to either move on or make myself happy. However, that gets tiring and arguments are quick to start because he’s not fulfilling his vows. I need to stop looking for people to pat me on the back after I complete a course. I’ve become so accustomed to being cheered for all my life that when my spouse doesn’t do it, I tend to get upset. I need to focus on my accomplishments and celebrate later at an appropriate time. Or am I making excuses for him? Who knows. Either way, in a marriage I believe if there is no support or happiness going around in the atmosphere, you have probably made a big mistake.
Latoya Duncan Roach